I have realized that loneliness can cause me to do crazy things. Many times I wrestle with God and I feel a lot of it is because of my loneliness....and the funny thing is the answer to my loneliness is found in Him. I have searched for it in people and come up dry. Christ is the only one who can fulfill this need in me and that is not always the most fun thing for me to realize but this is absolute Truth- thank you God for being able to fulfill this need we have Lord Jesus- this deep need- so that we are never alone.I feel I have gotten myself back.

What are your experiences on seeking God and finding ways He can fulfill you? ways in understanding how He truly does fill your every need and people are secondary. I think of the verse "fearing people is a dangerous trap but trusting in the Lord means safety."

Hi O,

I can relate to how you feel, I felt this way before marriage.

Man was not meant to be alone, either spiritually (hence, the need for a relationship with God), or physically (hence the need for a mate).

Trying to correct these needs by any means than that God has shown us in His Word will lead to even more emotional confusion. Even as a Christian, before marriage sometimes it was very difficult for me to focus on my relationship with God.

Though I was fervent in developing my relationship with Him, I was still battling that need in my life for a wife (and this was a scary prospect for me...marriage was something that other people did).

But God did bring someone into my life, and honestly, I didn't start to grow up until then. Both spiritually, and as a man. It has helped me to look at the needs of others better, whereas before, because it was just me, and that was mostly where I looked.

Well, I'm not sure this is exactly what you were looking for, but I agree that Christ does indeed fulfill our every need. Just don't forget that He intends for us to interact with people as well.

I have set my relational priorities as such:

1-God
2-My wife
3-my family
4-my church family
5-those I come into contact with

Anyway, just my 2 cents.

God bless

You have a great opportunity in front of you. You can seek God without the hindrance of your flesh. For times when you long for human companionship I suggest to take those moments to be around people.

Donate some time to a good cause or just enjoy fellowshipping at church, etc.

Let me explain the missgivings of a human relationship to show you what could happen to you should you grow weak and marry:

You want to go spend some time in prayer but your spouse has plans that evening. You end up going shopping.

You want to send some money to an orphanage but your spouse thinks they need a new pair of shoes or something nonsequential.....

You worry all the time about pleasing her/him because if you don't...she/he will be sure not to please you.

Paul says that those who marry will have trouble and he is absolutely correct! If you want the world the be about you though, it will certainly happen.

I once desired marriage so much that I almost hated God for not 'delivering' my spouse on a platter. Now I have apologized to God.....and I learned my lesson well....for my spouse is only concerned for himself. Although this has taught me much in dying to self I can whole heartedly say that God, being the Good Father, has made His point quite well to me on the subject of marriage.

You have a most 'golden' opportunity. You can freely serve the Lord. You can get up at 3:00 and scream in tongues if you like, fast for days without having to cook, and no one will torment you!

For those who choose marriage, Paul said they were weak, and he is right....I can say this without hypocrisy because I was the weak person.

A weak person should get married to not sin, but the way to really live is to live above your flesh, to rise up and be neither male or female right now in Christ. Be 'pure' spirit and to find no bondage to this earth.

Where would God take such a person, a spirit that is free and loves not this world?

A wife may be a good 'thing' but it pales in comparison to the freedom to do whatever God lays in front of your feet. How many choose the path of marriage and miss the things of God...many many do. Their lives become about the kids, the bills,the family pet, and the ego.

Although marriage has been good for my soul, I wish I had been stronger and just laid it all down at the cross. Think how many more hours I would have had to learn of Him and His ways!

7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.

9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. 1 Cor 7:7-9 (KJV)

Paul spoke of marriage in the light that it really is....'it is only better to marry then to burn'....some have twisted this to say, "burn with passion" instead of burn in hell, but we all know what it means.

Marriage puts you into the middle of the cares of this world.

Ask God for the 'gift' to not marry and be wise and then send sympathy cards to those of us who do. (lol)

__________________
Love the Truth will all you heart, mind, and soul.

Hi O,

Would like to encourage you in a couple of things.

While it is true that if you can make yourself "a eunuch for the Kingdom of Heaven's sake", this is better,

God will give you ability to live in this manner if this is your desire.

But, if you are like most people, and are tempted in ways that most men are (i.e., the need for a spouse), both Jesus and Paul recommend marriage.

You don't have to forego your relationship with God because you marry.
What is unfortunate in the Church, is that one or the other spouse will get relational priorities out of order, and while they may put their relationship with God first, they place their ministry before their spouse.

I have seen a lot of this: it has led to the brink of divorce (and divorce), hurt feelings, bitter relationships...

Make no mistake, God will not give you a ministry that will be in contradiction with what He has said in His Word.

Usually the problems in marriage arise when God's commands for marriage are overlooked.

The main culprit is usually this: the man does not fulfill his role as spiritual head of the household. I've seen it play out in a number of way's, but its usually the man is out of fellowship with God, the woman is not. Some women, contrary to God's Word, will then feel the need to fulfill that role as spiritual head, and this will only drive the relationship farther into disrepair.

However, if we obey God, and put Him first in our relational priorities, obey His commands, we can then let Him do the work in the heart of the other spouse. If the spouse is an unbeliever, and we show them love, this will have an impact on that marriage. Either that, or that spouse will leave (I don't say you should pray for this).

A marriage without God is like a lightbulb without the power company... its not going to work.

Marriage is honorable (Heb. 13:4) and not to be forbidden (1Tim. 4:3).

I can tell you this, marriage has edified me both as a man and a Christian. It has forced me to grow up, and consider the needs of others, primarily my wife.

She is a gift from God, and I thank Him for bringing her into my life.

She has not only been a blessing to me, but my entire family.

She has submitted to my role as spiritual leader, and, when I have fallen down on the job, has remained faithful to Jesus and continued in that submission, waiting patiently for me to get my act together.

Anyway, just a few thoughts.

One last thing:

I don't really subscribe to the thought that there is a match made in Heaven, the match is made right here on earth. It is work, moreso for some than others, but the end result can be glorious.

You won't really know a person for who they are until you marry them, but the good news is this: you will both grow and change in that relationship. You will not be the same people you were at marriage, because, if the man is fulfilling his role as spiritual leader, you will both be conformed to the image of Christ.

It may not always be a bed of roses, but growth does not occur without trial.

God bless.

Darrell,

Your advice is carnal and against what the bible teaches and not from the Holy Spirit.

Do you honestly think that a woman should honor a man over God? Do you realize that you are teaching idolatry?


Paul said that it is better to marry than to burn.....basically a second choice to hell's fire and he is right. It is for those who are 'weak' in their flesh....just as he said.

One must always put God first no matter what the cost to you personally or ones self or that person is not fit for the kingdom of heaven.

26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. Luke 14:25-26 (KJV)


1 And God spake all these words, saying, 2 I am the LORD thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.

3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Ex 20:1-3 (KJV)



In Christ,

Angel of Fire

__________________
Love the Truth will all you heart, mind, and soul.

If a person is married, the way he treats his spouse is part of his ministry. When a woman submits to her husband she isn't putting him ahead of God but is honoring God by obeying him. When a man loves his wife to the extent that he is willing to sacrifice his life for her he isn't putting her ahead of God but is simply obeying God.

If the husband disobeys God is she to submit?

If the wife demands the husband to please her instead of God...should a man put a woman before His Creator?

No, the scripture says;

18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Col 3:18 (KJV)

When you die in Christ your life is hid in Him. You no longer seek anything for yourself......you cannot do that which pleases your 'flesh' and serve God, not even in marriage and for those who twist this scripture to get what their 'flesh' wants, they will never be a disciple of Jesus.

To teach otherwise is to lead people into idolatry.

__________________
Love the Truth will all you heart, mind, and soul.

1 Corinthians Chapter 7

vv. 1-6: Paul seems to think that to avoid fornication (and remember, as Christians, we are guilty when we look with lust), it is better to marry. And that in that marriage, we are not to withhold ourselves physically from our spouses.

Why? well, so that we are not lusting (tempted by Satan, v.5).

This is why most equate the burning of v. 9 to lust, because the text seems to imply that.

He goes on to say:

v. 7,8,&9-He wishes all were like he, unmarried, but many believe Paul was a member of the Sanhedrin, and that marriage was a given for one of them. I don't say this is conclusive, but just that it is a common belief among many.
But, it isn't really pertinent to the question at hand.

v. 10-14: We do not have God's blessing to depart a marriage because our spouse is an unbeliever.

I do not advocate that a spouse that is being physically abused should stay within hand's reach of the abusing spouse, nor that they should engage in action contrary to God's will...
Not saying they should necessarily divorce either.

But these are severe conditions that the majority of marriages do not face.

But, your question was, if a husband disobeys God, should she still submit...

v. 15-If the unbelieving departs (and you should not be unequally yoked, but God has made provision for those saved after already marrying), Let him depart.

Until he does that, yes, sister Angel, I think scripture does command you to submit.

v. 16-For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband...

You know the rest. I will stop there because you are a woman, and the one asking the question.

This is just my advice to you, based on your previous post in this thread.

I am not trying to offend you in this, but I think, if you will just hear me, it may help you. I mean this sincerely.

If, and I speculate based on you own words, your husband is either out of fellowship with, or has never been in relationship with God, your concern for his eternal fate should far outweigh any personal agenda.

If that means submitting to verbal abuse, once he sees that your love for him will not be swayed by this, it will stop.

This is what I believe Paul is getting at.

Dump some coals of fire on his head, Angel (not literally, please).

If your situation is one that is physically dangerous, get away from him. If he does love you, he will change to get you back.

But, and this is coming from a male point of view (and you know what babies we can be at times), I can tell you this: a man wants to be shown that he is loved via attention. Look at 3-5 again.

You know yourself that women are usually the romantics, and men (forgive us) are buffoons.

If you show your husband how important he is to you, things will change, I have seen it a number of times.

What little I have seen of your posts, I gather your ministry is important to you, but don't leave your husband behind in the process. It is very easy for us buffoons to become hurt if we think there is something more important to our wives than we are.

This will be doubly true if your spouse does not know the Lord.

God bless.

Hi Theophilus,

How do you do two quotes from two different posts?

Okay, so if my husband wants me to make porn with him are you saying I should submit? Thanks...I'll be sure and tell God you gave me the 'okay' on that.

__________________
Love the Truth will all you heart, mind, and soul.