An itinerant evangelist was preaching at a little church. He rambled on and on, a lot longer than the host pastor ever spoke. And every time someone said, "Amen" or "That's right" he would just get fired up for another ten minutes or so.

Eventually, the host pastor began to shout "Amen, Pharoah!' every few sentences. Finally the lengthy sermon wound down to a conclusion.

After the people left the church, the evangelist asked the host pastor what he had meant by shouting, "Amen, Pharoah!"

The host pastor replied, "Let my people go!"

Two friends, called Bill and Fred, promised each other that if one of them died and went to heaven they would still try to communicate. Eventually one of them, Bill, died. True to his promise he returned, it was a Friday. "Fred, the good news is that they play football in heaven."
"What's the bad news?" Fred said.
"You are in the team for tomorrow.".Bill replied.

This joke takes place in Yorkshire Uk. You may need to know how we speak to appreciate. Dave.

"Where's Imaz," Said the pastor.
" Imaz who", replied the worship leader,
" Imaz were here yesterday but not today came the reply.

When I was at school this conversation took place, I was the boy who posed the question.

Our teacher was talking about density to the class and remarked that the air was less dense at the top of Mt Everest than in Armthorpe,where we lived. I said "Sir, does that mean that if you were to climb Everest you would be less dense at the summit than you are down here." The class exploded in laughter, he kept his cool and had the last word. Said it was a good illustration but the wrong subject. He did see the joke.

Nice one

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard; I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap." The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"

Rodger, It's good to laugh and I did, thanks.

Who Flung Dung, was Chinese, and unemployed. The state sent him to work at a sewage works. Dave.

Hi Dave
Nice one not for him butt.


CREATIVE PUNS FOR "EDUCATED MINDS"

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir
Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it
turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class
because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little
behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be
stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited
for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in
"Linoleum Blownapart."

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a
head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then, it hit me!

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off
the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a
hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was,
a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.


18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was
a small medium at large.

19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray
is now a seasoned veteran.

20. A backward poet writes inverse.

21. In democracy, it's your vote that counts.
In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of
religion.

23. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

24. All things cometh to he who waiteth.
Provideth he worketh like crazy while he waiteth!

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.

"I'd like to be six again," she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day!
He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's.

What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being six again??"

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size, you big dope!"

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

God bless